CAN LONELINESS BE HEALED?

It’s amazing, considering the number of people on this planet, that so many of us feel alone and lonely. Often I am surprised when someone tells me how lonely they feel, because to me they give the appearance of exactly the opposite. They appear to be surrounded by family and friends, and their lives have all the ingredients of what the world says is needed to be happy and fulfilled. But it does seem possible to be in the midst of a crowd and still feel achingly lonely.

Might these feelings of loneliness be a state of thought that comes upon someone when their thinking becomes too self-absorbed? I found this out many years ago when I felt myself feeling very dissatisfied, sad and lonely. I had everything I needed to be supremely happy: a wonderful family made up of a caring husband and two rambunctious and joyous little boys. We had a home that we loved, and relatives and friends that we were close to. We both had jobs that were fulfilling. What was wrong that I would feel so alone and unhappy?

For many years when I have felt unsettled, I have turned my thoughts to God in prayer to find the answers that I needed and this was one of those times. I yearned to find an answer that would end these sad thoughts. I have often studied the words and works of the Master Christ Jesus, as well as the spiritual laws that I have found in the works of Mary Baker Eddy, who was a devoted follower of Christ Jesus. So I set about to find the spiritual truths that would comfort me. Very quickly I found some helpful ideas that began to point the path out of these helpless thoughts. During this time of turning to God in deep yearning, a message came to me, loud and clear: “You are starving spiritually.”

When I heard this message, I knew exactly what it meant. It meant that I had lost sight of my relationship to God. I needed to take more time during my days and nights to learn the nature of God better and to see more clearly my relationship with Him. He was my creator and was giving me the truths that I needed to hear that would inevitably bring me happiness. He was causing me to live by these truths. Also, during this time of deep yearning, I saw very clearly that my thoughts had become way too self-absorbed, too filled with thoughts of what I wanted. What was needed was a greater focus on embracing others - turning my thoughts outward instead of inward. There is a statement in one of Mrs. Eddy’s other writings that gave me the answer: “To love, and to be loved, one must do good to others. The inevitable condition whereby to become blessed, is to bless others:” (Miscellaneous Writings, p. 127)

Things didn‘t turn around overnight, but I had found the way out of those depressing thoughts, and I began to set in motion a different way of viewing my world. I found myself reading more from the Bible (especially the words of Christ Jesus) and from Mrs. Eddy’s book “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.” Both of these books were helping to awaken me to the love of God that was surrounding my life right where there had seemed to be such a deep sense of loneliness and discontent before.

I never knew when those thoughts ceased talking to me, for I had gotten so busy looking for ways to bless others, I had stopped thinking these sad and lonely thoughts, and they completely dissolved and have never returned.

There is a quote from “Science and Health” that has helped many people through the years. It explains the way out of these difficult times: “Hold thought steadfastly to the enduring, the good, and the true, and you will bring these into your experience proportionably to their occupancy of your thoughts.” (S&H 261)

Stop sitting in despair and grief, and start feeding yourself spiritually. Let God lift your thoughts up to His realm, where you become aware of His love enveloping you and blessing you and yours right now.